


Snow Day

by romulusgloriosus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cats, Christmas, Multi, Musclebeasts, Roleplay, Snow, Sweat, The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy, Ugly Sweaters, gingerbread cake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 13:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20995565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romulusgloriosus/pseuds/romulusgloriosus
Summary: A dead Cat Girl, her dead moirail, and her dead moirail's dead robot girlfriend celebrate Human Christmas together on Earth C. A touching story for the whole (Homestuck) family. I wrote this for "Inktober" because I can't draw. Takes place in the periphery of the Candy epilogue.





	Snow Day

It’s been a few months, and it is now snowing on that suburban street just outside of New Derse. The black and purple houses all in a row are lit up with lights flashing red and green. Two of the houses have a menorah in the window. A Dersite Carapacian bundled in several layers of ugly sweaters, coats, and scarves tries in vain to shovel his car out of the snow while it continues to come down. A Carapacian family goes door to door singing holiday songs. The tire swing outside of the home of the fully realized Rogue of Heart is absolutely covered in the fluffy white precipitation.

In the intervening time, the ghost of Equius Zahhak has moved in with the ghost of Nepeta Leijon. In addition he has brought his long term matesprit/kismesis (it changes, depending on the mood) Aradiabot #227 to live with them as well. It’s uncommon for trolls to live with one another, as on Alternia they had no families and only lived with their lusii until they were old enough to go into space and spent the rest of their lives in barracks or space villas across the galaxy. For this reason it was incredibly difficult for Nepeta to convince Equius to give up his solitary living and form a family unit, but her purrsistence and the promise of being able to spend more time with the women he loved finally wore him down.

One thing he is not happy about today, however, is the tree that Nepeta has decided to put up in the living room and cover with all sorts of shiny baubles. He is standing next to it grumbling, still dressed in his French(ish) Maid attire, while Nepeta and Aradiabot #227 sit on the couch. Nepeta is wearing a mauve knitted sweater with the heart symbol on it, and Aradiabot #227 is wearing a black knitted sweater with “all i want f0r christmas is y0u” written on the front with a picture of a frog beneath it.

EQUIUS: --> Tell me again Nepeta why we must have this tree in our hive  
NEPETA: :33 < beclaws its christmas time! during christmas time you put a tr33 in your hive and cover it with shiny stuff and then you knock it down as much as pawsible!!!  
ARADIABOT #227: i d0nt think thats h0w it w0rks  
NEPETA: :33 < it absolutely is! i see the kitties in the human homes knock the tr33s down all the time!  
ARADIABOT #227: i think that is because they are cats  
ARADIABOT #227: the humans d0nt kn0ck d0wn the trees they just sit and stare at them in silence  
ARADIABOT #227: s0metimes they listen t0 music  
NEPETA: :33 < i think the kitties are having more fun!!!  
ARADIABOT #227: perhaps 0_0  
EQUIUS: --> Perhaps the better question is why we TROLLS are celebrating this HUMAN holiday to begin with  
EQUIUS: --> It appears to be an inferior version of 12th Perigee’s Eve, but with a tree in your hive instead of the much more reasonable behemoth leavings  
ARADIABOT #227: that is m0re 0r less what it is  
ARADIABOT #227: i believe it used t0 be a celebrati0n 0f the hatching 0f the human sufferer in the universe we created and served as a religi0us h0liday  
ARADIABOT #227: but as time went 0n it just became a h0liday to celebrate c0nspicu0us c0nsumpti0n  
ARADIABOT #227: als0 cake 0_0  


Equius nods firmly.

EQUIUS: --> Conspicuous consumption and cake sound like far better reasons to celebrate than the hatching of a heretical cult leader  
NEPETA: :33 < the cake sounds great! can we have cake???  
ARADIABOT #227: sh0uld i bake a cake  
EQUIUS: --> No  
EQUIUS: --> No it is I who should do this  
EQUIUS: --> Our sgrub session is over  
EQUIUS: --> You are no longer the Maid  
EQUIUS: --> I am  
EQUIUS: --> I am the Maid  
EQUIUS: --> Your maid  
EQUIUS: --> ...  
EQUIUS: --> Pardon me

Equius rushes off into the kitchen a little too quickly.

ARADIABOT #227: 0_0  
ARADIABOT #227: ribbit  
NEPETA: h33 h33 h33!!! i love that you still do that!  
ARADIABOT #227: i d0nt think i have t0 anym0re  
ARADIABOT: #227: but its fun 0_0

Nepeta cuddles up to Aradiabot #227 on the couch, laying her head in her lap and making a throaty purring sound. Aradiabot #227 scratches between Nepeta’s horns idly.

NEPETA: :33 < hey aradia?  
ARADIABOT #227: yes  
NEPETA: :33 < i love you!  
ARADIABOT #227: d0 y0u  
NEPETA: :33 < yes! im so happy that you came to live with us! not that i dont like spending time with equius, he’s my moirail and i love him a lot too but its just a nice feeling having us all together!!!  
NEPETA: :33 < sometimes i just miss when we were all furends  
ARADIABOT #227: yes it is nice  
ARADIABOT #227: i am glad t0 be here i think  
ARADIABOT #227: i used t0 see myself as a useless extra d00med t0 failure and service t0 the alpha timeline  
ARADIABOT #227: but n0w here i am with my 0wn timeline’s equius and nepeta in a hive 0f my 0wn  
ARADIABOT #227: alive as a dead girl can be while still being  
ARADIABOT #227: dead 0_0  
NEPETA: :33 < yeah! its great to be a dead girl!  
ARADIABOT #227: agreed

A few hours pass. Nepeta knocks the tree over three times. Aradiabot #227 uses her psychic powers to lift it back up every time. On the fourth attempt, Aradiabot #227 simply keeps the tree from falling down, much to Nepeta’s frustration. The smell of spiced cake fills the air, lulling Nepeta into a peaceful nap under the tree. Eventually, Equius comes out of the kitchen holding a large gingerbread cake in his STRONG arms. Nepeta awakens immediately, her fake(?) tail somehow pointed up with excitement.

EQUIUS: --> I have made the cake  
EQUIUS: --> I hope it is to your liking  
EQUIUS: --> Aradiabot #227  
ARADIABOT #227: i d0nt have a st0mach  
ARADIABOT #227: 0r tastebuds 0_0  
EQUIUS: --> Fiddlesti%  
NEPETA: :33 < more for m33!!!!!!  
NEPETA: :33 < *like the mighty hunter she is, the fierce rogue of heart leaps upon her prey and takes the lions share of the cake for herself!!!*  
EQUIUS: --> Nepeta stop

Nepeta pounces onto Equius, grabbing the cake out of his hands and leaping across the room. She snarls as she tears out chunks of the cake with her bare hands and shovels it into her mouth. Equius smacks his hand to his forehead, causing it to bruise slightly.

EQUIUS: --> Nepeta how many times have I told you that we eat at the table like civilized trolls  
NEPETA: :33 < no! kitties dont eat at the table, kitties eat where they pl33se!  
NEPETA: :33 < which i guess is sometimes on the table but not right now!  
EQUIUS: --> Nepeta stop mauling my cake and put it on the table this instant  
NEPETA: :33 < no!  
EQUIUS: --> Yes  
NEPETA: :33 < no!!!  
EQUIUS: --> Yes  
NEPETA: :33 < no!!!!!!  
EQUIUS: --> Aradiabot #227 if I may request your assistance  
ARADIABOT #227: y0u heard her equius  
ARADIABOT #227: kitties eat where they please 0_0  
EQUIUS: --> Curses  


Equius grumbles some more and goes to sit on the floor next to Nepeta. He smooths out his dress as he takes a seat.

NEPETA: :33 < *the mighty nepeta offers her pretty moirail a piece of cake!!!*  
EQUIUS: --> Yes I will take some cake  
NEPETA: :33 < psst no you have to purrlay!  
EQUIUS: --> I will not  
NEPETA: :33 < pl33se?  
EQUIUS: --> Oh very well  
EQUIUS: --> *The great musclebeast snorts, his pectorals fle%ing mightily as he reaches for the cake offered*  
EQUIUS: --> *Sweat drips from his majestic forearms, his musk filling the room with his virile scent*  
EQUIUS: --> *Yes, he says, I will take the cake*  
NEPETA: :33 < h33 h33 h33 youre so gross! take the cake before you get your sweat all over it!  
EQUIUS: --> Thank you Nepeta  
EQUIUS: --> I mean  
EQUIUS: --> *Thank you mighty Nepeta, the great musclebeast replies*  
ARADIABOT #227: y0u tw0 are cute  
EQUIUS: --> You  
EQUIUS: --> You think I am cute  
EQUIUS: --> Truly  
ARADIABOT #227: s0metimes  
ARADIABOT #227: d0nt think ab0ut it t00 hard  
EQUIUS: --> I assure you that I will think of nothing else for the rest of the evening  
ARADIABOT #227: yes i sh0uld have kn0wn better than t0 say anything  
ARADIABOT #227: my bad 0_0

Nepeta gets up and hugs Aradiabot #227 tightly, smearing cake all over her sweater.

NEPETA: :33 < you dont have to act so tough all the time aradia! we know that you love us!  
ARADIABOT #227: d0 i  
NEPETA: :33 < yeah!

Aradiabot #227’s sensors scan Nepeta, and then Equius, and then Nepeta again. A weird, creepy smile appears on her robotic face.

ARADIABOT #227: yes i supp0se i d0  
ARADIABOT #227: c0me equius  
ARADIABOT #227: i will h0ld y0u b0th in my arms 0u0  
EQUIUS: --> Are  
EQUIUS: --> Are you sure  
ARADIABOT #227: d0nt be weird and ask f0r a t0wel  
ARADIABOT #227: just c0me get y0ur hug  
EQUIUS: --> Very  
EQUIUS: --> Very well

Equius gets up from the ground and goes to hug Aradiabot #227 as well. The three of them hold each other tightly, and Equius smiles widely. Despite everything they have been through, they have become a happy family.


End file.
